It hit me today...

I've been living in a dream world up until today... My last day at work turned out to be really sad and not the feeling of lightness and relief I was expecting. It's embarassing to admit, but I cried on and off all day, and throughout my exit interview... At one point during the interview I laughed and said to my HR director, "I don't know how many people bawl during their exit sessions..." She said, "Well... actually, you're the first!" Not a great feeling, but I just couldn't hold it together today. I've been with my coworkers nonstop for four years. I feel I'm losing my family.

I also think I've been operating under extreme conditions. I found out August 13th I needed to be in Taiwan by the end of the month. Getting everything together has been a huge effort and the lack of sleep hasn't helped. The littlest things got me tremendously sad today... I'm lucky to feel so attached to everything and everyone in my life.

Feeling good...

I finally feel I have a handle on things and that this move may go off without a hitch (I hope I'm not jinxing myself). I found out last night that the dorm room I'll be staying in is a quad, so there will be four of us sharing one room. At first, the idea seemed insane... it's now growing on me and I think it will be good to have a group of girls to live with rather than living with a single roommate. One of my roommates is from Korea and is also a Chinese language student. The other two are not in the language program and that's all I know... I can't wait to get there and find out.

One weird thing about the dorm I'm staying in is that there's a bed frame, but no bedding provided. Knowing that there wouldn't be a mattress, blankets or a pillow for me when I arrived was freaking me out. I couldn't imagine first, finding a store and figuring out how to purchase a mattress in Chinese. And second, transporting the mattress back to my room. Would I be hauling it back on a bus or the subway? I've dealt with much bigger problems in my life, but that one's been causing me to lose a little sleep recently. Last Saturday I decided to buy an air mattress and all my bedding online from target. Today everything arrived and I was able to stuff it all into a duffel bag. Just knowing I have the basics when I arrive: shelter, a bed to sleep in and people to live with makes a big difference.

The status

I've been living on little sleep... I've also been feeling off because of all the inoculations: typhoid, meningitis, the Heps... Each shot offers a sample of what the real illness must feel like. I have to admit being tired and feeling off does take the edge off; sort of like being hungover. I'm less nervous and looking forward to the arrival in Taiwan when I can take a break from the moving madness and sleep. I know I'm still not facing how I'll cope with saying goodbye to everyone in my life -- particularly my parents. I hope I don't cry the whole plane ride... That would really suck for whoever's stuck with me for 14 hours.

I pick up my visa tomorrow. As soon as I have that in my hands things will be golden.

Zai Jian for now...

Last-minute changes

I've been running around like a maniac all day trying to get everything squared away. One thing that's been worrying me a lot is finding housing when I arrive in Taipei. I've been following forums and blogs and keep reading horror stories about foreigners getting scammed or ripped off while apartment hunting.

I opened my email this evening and found a message from school saying a few dorm rooms have opened up. I replied immediately and yep, I'm moving into the dorms! I can't imagine what that will be like... Will I be sharing a bunk bed with someone? I laugh just thinking about it.

I called the lady who sent me the email tonight just to confirm she received my reply and I have a confirmed bed. She confirmed, but wanted to be sure I knew it would cost an extra NT$9,400. I agreed without hesitation even though I had no idea how much that was in USD. When I got off the phone I plugged the numbers into OANDA and found the dorm room costs $285 USD for 3 months! I guess I will have extra spending money this semester... Or I suppose if the dorms turn out to be too much to bear, I can move out.

I feel good about my decision since it's eliminated a lot of worries. I'm sure I'll meet a lot of people as well. I am sorry not to be staying at the hostel I booked (see the cute pic in my last post). I'll be sure to update the blog with a pic of my new dorm digs as soon as I arrive on August 30th.

Wan an!

Un-muddling

I spent the day throwing away, recycling and donating... I feel lighter already. I love having less stuff. My goal is to leave Chicago with one suitcase, and have that hold my only worldly possessions. I want to have no baggage, literally.

The other great development of the day is I found the hostel where I'll be staying for the first five nights when I arrive in Taipei. I picked the place because it had great reviews on Google. One reviewer gave the hostel three stars because she said the owners of the hostel were so friendly and helped her find an apartment within three days. Her major complaint was she booked her stay for seven nights, all non-refundable; she couldn't believe the hostel wouldn't refund her the four unused nights. Can you imagine docking stars and complaining because people were generous enough to find you an apartment?! I guess I lean toward the side of the hostel because of my many years in the travel industy and consumers for whatever reason not understanding the word "non-refundable." I can already tell there will be a few fellow-Americans that I will have problems with overseas... I seriously hope I have the same luck with finding a place as that lady. I should also note I chose the hostel because it has a direct bus ride to school without any transfers; this I also learned from Google. I want my life and commuting to be as simple as possible for my first days on the ground.

Having a destination makes all the difference. I feel I can now focus on getting everything in order and, most importantly, spending time with friends and family before I leave. Knowing I have a place and bed to sleep in when I'm far from everything and everyone I know eases my mind considerably.

Rapid developments...

Whoa! I found out Thursday at 5pm my Chinese language scholarship will be extended from six-months to a year. I'm thrilled! The one drawback is I have to BE IN Taiwan by August 31st. I wasn't planning to move until February 2010 - I have a tremendous amount of work to do.

The past day and a half has been a roller coaster ride. I gave my notice at work yesterday... I tear up thinking about it. I have a tight team that I've been working with for the past four years. It's hard to think about saying goodbye.

I also had to cancel a trip to Maine that has been planned for months with some of my best friends from the college days... Pretty disappointing for everyone involved although it's good to have understanding and supportive friends.

I believe the solution to the sadness is that everyone will have to promise to come visit me! As soon as I get my bearings, I hope to find an apartment that has space so I can open Hai Lun's B&B (modelled after the Wichmann B&B of course!). By the way, Hai Lun is my Chinese name. A Taiwanese friend of mine in Chicago came up with it. My full name is 陳海倫 (Chen Hai Lun). Here's how it translates: Chen=Chen, a Chinese last name. Hai=Ocean, and Lun=Coherence/Order. I really like the name and am pretty excited that this is the name that will be on all my student IDs, etc.

I feel incredibly lucky... The moment I heard I needed to move the people in my life swooped in. I feel buoyed up by the help I'm getting. Tina, my friend living in China, sent a list of everything I need to think about (I'll post Tina's list in case anyone reading needs it too). My brother Pat found me a laptop. My parents have been helping with difficult decisions... I also have a buddy that NCCU assigned to me; having someone to chat with who's currently living in Taiwan eases my mind and nerves. There's also a 1% chance that this could fall through for whatever reason; maybe my flight gets cancelled and I don't arrive in time... My boss was kind enough to say if anything falls through I still have a job. I woke up sick with with dread yesterday, but today, I feel this move is possible.